When we met we were both so untrusting we almost passed each other. We talked all night, every night for a week and then our untrusting souls collided. We stepped away and let a void come between us. It was unsettling for me, those weeks we didn’t talk. I thought about you often throughout the days and would wonder where you were, what you were doing, if you were thinking of me. You know I don’t even remember how we came back together. I just remember we did and I felt relief.
From that day forward you would become a lifeline to me. I don’t know what I am to you because I’ve never had the audacity to ask. I know you care for me. I know you love me. I know you text me every single day, every SINGLE day, throughout the day and night to say hello, how are you, what are you doing? We have conversations, we laugh, I cry sometimes, we share deep thoughts, pain, happiness, accomplishments, failures, dreams, and sometimes secrets.
I get pissed at you. I know you don’t see yourself like I do. I know there are reasons but I don’t care. I know under the bullshit, under your pain is a man of great integrity. You’re intelligent but you don’t always show it to people. I think you like for them to underestimate you. You are extremely opinionated and perfectly able to debate your stance on your opinions. You have a talent that most people would kill for. You sing me to sleep every night. When I need you, you’re there. If I say I’m sick you immediately ask, “what can I do? what do you need?” I haven’t had that since my father passed away 15 years ago and it means so fucking much that you do it. You love so deeply and without limits that you sacrifice all of yourself, keeping nothing back and burning out your own candle to make others happy. You make me happy. You make me smile every day.
You encouraged me to follow my dream. I don’t think I’d have done it without that push. I remember you said to me that even if a publisher wouldn’t take my book to do it on my own and let no one stop me. You said to write for me, to make myself happy. You’re the only person who stayed when I got sick. Everyone else left, they couldn’t handle me being sick. You stayed. I never questioned why. It just was.
I see you, you’ve lived through adversity, you have your share of wounds. You hurt, you bleed, you suffer. You also create, you give, you embrace, and you love. You sometimes feel as if you stand alone in a storm of loneliness and agony, but you’ll never be alone as the winds of torment batter you. I’m with you now always. You’ve put me in your heart and you in mine and somehow I know neither of us will let go. So when you’re walking through that raging thunder beating through your soul telling you you’re not good enough, wait for the quiet peace our bond has formed and know someone somewhere sees you, respects you, and loves you. Just remember always our tattoos, yours on your chest and mine on my ribs. It never rains with you.